Month: July 2025

Body image struggles in teens and young adults are rising at alarming rates, and today’s digital culture is only amplifying the pressure. Initially, the Body Positivity Movement brought a wave of hope, celebrating body diversity and encouraging self-acceptance. But in recent years, and especially in the past few months, there has been a noticeable resurgence of rigid body ideals. From the curated, aspirational content of SkinnyTok to the hypermasculine expectations within the manosphere and incel communities, young people are once again bombarded with damaging messages about appearance, worth, and power. It feels as if we've come full circle, where once silenced ideals are returning with renewed force. Even the rise of femcel narratives showcases a darker twist on femininity. These messages are reinforcing internalised misogyny and the belief that a person’s value lies solely in their physical appearance. What once felt like a shift toward equality and diversity now feels like it's being rapidly undone. But behind the filters and fitness trends lies a deeper story: one of shame, emotional disconnection, and a desperate need to belong. This blog explores why so many teens turn to body image and eating disorders to cope, how cultural modelling and perfectionism take hold, and what they need to thrive, being seen, heard, and valued. The Role of Shame and Control When we feel shame, a natural response can be to seek control. Shame exists as a core belief of being fundamentally unworthy. If we don't feel like we fit in, can't relate to others, or that we're different, control presents itself as the best way to cope. For teens and young adults who are actively seeking dependence, food, appearance, and exercise can be some of the first things to grab for and take control of. The consumption of messages telling us if we look a certain way we'll be accepted, controlling our food, weight, and shape must be the antidote we need? Right? Now, the theory here isn't completely wrong. In order to overcome shame, we need to feel empowered. To feel empowered, we need to gain a sense of accomplishment and pride. So if we adapt our body to look a certain way that is congratulated by society, pride will come flooding in, right? Well, not necessarily. Unfortunately, if we don't have a concrete sense of self-worth, then this empowerment becomes unrelenting perfectionism. If we're always trying to change our body to gain approval from others, our standards are ever changing and we never feel enough. If our efforts to change our body are acknowledged and praised, our worth becomes conditional in respect to our body. For those who have never felt like they fit in, but finally feel included due to pursuing a body ideal, these behaviours become entrenched and we feel we must persist with our efforts, unable to let go. The Pain of Being Different Those who grow up feeling different, including neurodivergent or queer individuals, are at heightened risk. At our clinic, 85% of individuals with severe and enduring mental health issues are neurodiverse. Whilst genetics may play a small role, we believe the issue to be predominantly social. When we are in an environment where no one is like us, we feel different and are unable to form connections or relate to others; our perceived isolation fuels shame. For these individuals, perfectionism and body control may become the only way to survive. They strive to meet unrelenting standards, numb their pain, or disconnect altogether. Disordered eating, substance abuse and depression aren't acts of vanity. They are coping mechanisms to relieve the pain of emotional and social disconnection. However, there is an antidote. Whilst social media continues to build a narrative that we can only fit in if we look a certain way, those around us, including our friends, mentors and supportive adults, become our strongest protective factor. The Power of Modelling on Body Image Unlike other animals, humans are wired to model. Children look up to older peers, celebrities, social media influencers, and even characters on TV. This modelling is inevitable, regardless of whether social media is present. You can take away someone's phone, but they will still look up to the older kids in the playground, who will have watched something on TikTok, and modelling continues to persist. Whenever we are in a state of self-doubt, we ask ourselves: "What do I need to be to belong? To be like the others?". There's no pause for questioning, reflecting or thinking about the impact our actions will have. We are just seeking the quickest way to feel safe, secure, and like we fit in. Modelling creates social rankings, and for women, appearance has always been the currency. For men, there has previously been a focus on attainment. A car, a watch, a partner, a job, a salary. However, with the rise of the manosphere and incel culture, toxic ideals of masculinity, perfection, and thinness dominate young boy's screens, appearance has also become the main currency for male social rankings too. From SkinnyTok to femcel narratives, all of these messages are deep-rooted in misogyny, reinforcing the belief that physical appearance dictates value. Instead of funding influencers who make us feel insecure, we need to empower those supporting body diversity to extend their reach. We can do this through: Supporting body diverse social media influencers and unfollowing those who make us feel self-concious (even 1 unfollow can have an impact - imagine if we all did this!) Engage in body image programmes in schools like The Body Project, which helps young people critically examine societal pressures and redefine self-worth beyond the mirror. Encourage body-related conversations with our children to let them know we are listening and their concerns are valid. Instead of leaving our children to absorb messages on the screens, let's create a space for conversations to examine how our bodies make us feel, the messages we have internalised, and what this means for our self-confidence. Reducing Body Image Struggles To build a strong foundation of self-worth and emotional resilience, children and teens need to be: Seen, heard, and valued by being encouraged to express themselves with adults who listen, reflect, and empathise without fixing. By ignoring a child's emotional expression or making them feel like a burden, they internalise shame. Emotions fuse, and self-blame buries feelings like anger. Feeling emotions intensely can be an overwhelming experience. However, if we support young people through this, they can realise emotions are nothing to fear. Instead, they can be a guide to help us understand and make decisions. The better we are at communcaiting and understanding our emoitons, the less likely we are to struggle with our mental healht and self-worth. But when we support teens through emotional conversations, their brains create neural pathways for regulating feelings. This is how resilience is built. It isn't about solving the problem, it’s about being there, being present. Recovery requires the ability to assert oneself, confront adversity, and feel empowered—not dominated by internal critics. Yet in many cultures, assertiveness is misunderstood or discouraged. Psychologist Paul Filbert explains that unregulated anger can dominate us. However, when held in a safe container, it becomes a protective factor known as assertiveness. If we can teach the next generation that it's okay to say no, to set boundaries and to stand up for what you believe, not only will we support them to fit in, but protect their wellbeing too. Changing the Media and Cultural Landscape Marketing thrives on inadequacy. The more insecure we feel, the more products we buy. Teenagers, already in a fragile state of identity formation, become prime targets. From filters to fitness programs, brands prey on vulnerability. Change must happen at multiple levels: Marketing and advertising that stops praying on our insecurties and starts empowering us to thrive. Social media transparency, showing reality, not just highlight reels or heavily edited photos (and now videos). Emotional education in schools, so children can name and manage their emotions, without feeling overwhelmed. Parental modelling, by discussing and processing emotions together, instead of hiding them. Media literacy programs that teach young people to critically assess what they see and how it makes them feel. Beyond the Surface The antidote to body image struggles won't be found in another diet, workout, or beauty trend. It's found in being seen, heard, and valued. When we emotionally support teens, when we respect their feelings, they stop measuring their worth by their waistline. To change the outcome, we must change the input. We need to redefine modelling, confront marketing tactics and build emotional and social media literacy. Above all, we need to create environments where no one has to change their body to feel accepted. Because when young people are met with empathy, connection, and validation, they don’t just survive. They flourish. If you or a young person you care for is experiencing body image struggles, our new body image programme, Beyond the Surface, is designed to help you understand emotions, develop compassion and courage, and cultivate long-lasting confidence that extends beyond body image to help with all aspects of life. Reach out today to find out more, we are here to help you develop confidence from the inside, out.

Month: July 2025

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